


Hands

by asrewrites



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, marve - Fandom
Genre: Comfort, Companions, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Friendship, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 20:18:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asrewrites/pseuds/asrewrites
Summary: A little Bucky fic I wrote off the idea that he might hate his hair and appreciate something to hold on to.





	Hands

Bucky. What to say about Bucky. When I first met him he was fresh off his rebellion against who he’d been. He was out of cryo in Wakanda, trigger free and ready to party as he said. When I met him he was super tanned and had just shaved all his hair off. He asked me to dance, because I was pretty and I was also the only woman on the floor at the time. He kept me with him for 3 hours until he was ordered to the medical floor and escorted by Wanda and Natasha. Steve said that no one was to worry, that Bucky was just asserting his ability to make his own decisions. After a week of those assertions, I had been asked to be his official partner. It stemmed from the fact that Bucky knew my name and would actually talk to me, and also from the fact that I was not an Avenger and wouldn’t have to leave Bucky alone.

I had no official standing in the tower, I was actually retired and quite happily so, but Fury had asked for a favour. With Hill engaged in other duties, he needed someone to keep tabs on the tower and the people he couldn’t be in contact with as he was still officially ‘dead’ and wanted to stay that way. He’d turned up at my place, looking for a roof for a bit and I had obliged and let him talk me into the assignment. I mostly wanted to get a look at some Stark tech and meet Bruce Banner but even I knew it wouldn’t be awful meeting the rest of the group. Fury got me in as Banner’s assistant. Problem was Banner was MIA and so while I had a guaranteed job I actually had no work to do, ever. Tony kept me busy off and on, since I was competent and capable. This had all led me to being in the right place at the right time to meet Bucky – James Buchanan Barnes.

Tony had officially asked me to be the ‘babysitter’, and that is what most people called me. Even Bucky. The man who spent every day with me now, who was always touching me. When he got mad about anything, he called me ‘babysitter’. It wasn’t so much to insult me as to underline how he wasn’t trusted and treated like a child, but I hated the name. Added to that that charming title was the constant contact. There was now a spot permanently tattooed on the top curve of my right ass cheek, where Bucky always rested his left hand, usually while his thumb slowly traced patterns along my hip. Something was missing when his hand wasn’t there, and more than once in the weeks we’d known each other I had had to stop and mentally take stock of what was bothering me. It more often than not was his hand in that spot. More than anything else I did for Bucky, I served as a point of contact. Someone who he could touch without having to worry about explanations because I never asked for any.

It had started one night after everyone had left for a mission. I had been reading on the couch, something or another playing on the tv to keep me company when Bucky had stumbled into the room. He flopped onto the couch and curled into himself. I looked at him over my book, checking to see if he was looking for attention and seeing that he was staring at the tv I decided that I would hold off on my urge to mother him. A few minutes later I noticed he was rocking and I put my book down. He didn’t react to me when I moved. I grabbed a blanket and covered him with it, then I gently pulled him into my lap and cuddled him until he fell asleep. We had never talked about that night, but I started something that night. At first I had cuddled him irregularly. He indicated his need to be held by appearing with a blanket.

After a few weeks of intermittent cuddles, Bucky had asked me to meet him on the roof. He had insisted on cuddling me this time. He sat behind me and wrapped me in his arms while he told me how much he appreciated everything that I had done for him over the prast weeks. He explained that he felt safe and comfortable with me and that he hoped that I didn’t feel forced into caring for him. He hoped that I would agree to continue cuddling, possibly even sitting with him at group outings. He said that being close to me kept him calm. I took a chance and asked him if it was easier for him to get cuddles before sleeping or if he wanted to try during. I told him that I had a feeling that he wasn’t sleeping well and he chuckled.

“Are you offering to sleep with me doll?” he whispered into the night.

“I am, or more accurately I’m offering to spoon with you and see if it helps you sleep better.”

“It’s not your job doll. None of this is your job. Why do you do it? Why would you want to?”

“Honestly? I do it because I like to. I like you Bucky. You’re a good cuddler. You don’t drool or grope. You’re really considerate and I appreciate that.”

Bucky scooted in and held me closer. “Thank you. It really means a lot to me that you are helping me.”

‘Thank you Bucky,” I said letting him rest his head against my shoulder and encase me in his arms and legs. Anyone looking on would’ve thought we’re lovers, but we aren’t. We hugged, we cuddled, we occasionally held hands but we barely spoke to each other, and we had never kissed. I didn’t know if I even wanted to kiss him but I knew sometimes I dreamt about it happening. It was nice, exciting even. I would never act on the impulse to kiss him. That is not what he needed and it certainly wouldn’t be wise to stress Bucky out and take away his source of security. I was almost religiously hounded by Steve to make certain that I would never cross that line, never destroy Bucky’s peace of mind.

Wrapped in his arms now I wondered who was policing Bucky to make sure that he didn’t cross that line. The longer I sat here with him the more I wondered if he had already crossed that line in his own mind, giving me more importance than he said. I was just wondering if I should talk to him about this when he sighed and stood up, offering me a hand. He helped me stand up, his gaze somewhere along the ground until I was steady and then he led me back inside. He helped me out of my jacket and took it with him when he went to put his away. I walked down the hall to the common room, it was almost dinner time and there were always things to be done around that time. I helped set the table and bring the food over as everyone else straggled in, including Bucky.

Bucky took a seat and put his hand down on the chair to his left. That was Bucky speak for ‘don’t sit here’ and everyone knew it. No one was surprised when he stood and pulled the chair out for me and tucked it in for me as I sat. That was our usual dinner behaviour now. It had nearly caused a riot the first time it happened, because at the time, Bucky didn’t really talk to anyone except Steve and suddenly he was holding chairs and acting all gentlemanly for the new lab assistant. He smiled at, joked with and talked with me too. It took the team time to get used to it but Steve had the hardest time because he wanted to be the one to bring Bucky out of himself. We spent a lot of time talking and dealing with those feelings so that we weren’t letting things fester or acting out on each other, or worse, on Bucky.

After that my first week with the team had pretty much thrown everyone off kilter, but Bucky seemed to settle in quite well. Our first meeting was unconventional. Bucky was wandering around the halls talking to himself and running his hands over his shaved head. He had been debating whether to shave his regrowth down or leave it be. I had told him that chicks like me, liked a little stubble and to prove it I rubbed my hands over his ¼ inch hair and told him it felt wonderful before smiling and heading away. I had no idea who he was, or that, more to that point, everyone had given him a wide berth and no one had even remotely touched him in such a casual and familiar way in decades. I blew Bucky’s mind that time.

I also didn’t know that for the better part of that day Bucky had stood in the hall convinced that he had hallucinated me. Steve had finally found him and, concerned for Bucky’s mental health, he had convinced Natasha to show them the video feed from the hall way and everyone was relieved to see a woman on that video feed. Then it was just a matter of finding me. Tony knew who I was, but he was the last person anyone asked. Bucky had the best idea and asked the AI to tell him when I came in to work and where I worked. He wanted me to tell him my name, so he told the AI not to tell him that information. He waited outside the lab for me the next day but he’d hid when he’d heard me coming. He watched me for a bit as I puttered around the lab until I saw him. I ushered him in and asked him if he’d decided anything. A half hour later we were still talking when Natasha, Sam and Steve appeared. They’d tracked Bucky to the lab, worried after he missed breakfast and training.

I had been swiftly separated from Bucky and interrogated about my plans and credentials. I was eventually cleared and let to resume my day. Bucky was waiting with pizza and beer and I had seen him very day since. He either found me or I found him. We were never apart for more then a few hours as he still wasn’t cleared for missions and neither of us left the tower for very long. Soon enough he’d be cleared for field work, but before then all time was our time it seemed. I sifted over these memories as we ate dinner, Bucky’s hand now and then resting on my knee. Whenever he started to speaking with people at the table or even thought about it he touched me. He never moved his hand above my knee and I didn’t mind. He comforted me in these moments, I had no idea what I was doing sitting there with the Avengers. Sure I was deadly with a can of raid or any other fly killing implement – and maybe my sarcastic wit. I would never be a trained and skilled defender of the world and it’s people, not personally. I might help build something that did that, but I would only be remotely involved at best.

After dinner the dishes were cleared and people went about their night. I sat on the couch while Bucky helped with the dishes. Bucky called to me from the doorway and I realised that he didn’t want to stay in the common room, so I went to him and we walked back to his room. He told me that he really need some sleep and that if I didn’t mind, he would appreciate it if I would help him fall asleep tonight. I smiled and said it would be my pleasure. I followed him into his room and he closed the door behind us. He offered me the room to change if I wanted to and headed into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

While he’s gone I unclasped my bra and pulled it off under my shirt, pulling it away from me through my shirt sleeve. Bucky cleared his throat behind me, having come back into the room to see that move. “That’s something that you don’t see every day doll.” he husked, walking closer. I smiled at him and dropped my bra to the floor and then I kicked off my shoes and waited for him to get into bed. He stood there watching me and I realised that he’s waiting for me to do the same thing.

“Go on,” I motioned to the bed, “Get comfortable and then I will join you.” He looked at me a moment before he gave a short nod and climbed into the bed. I wait until he is relaxed and then I get under the covers behind him. He seemed to relax much more once I wrapped myself around him and he held my arm against his chest tightly. His metal hand warmed against my skin and his thumbs rubbed softly across my skin as we lay there. I listened to him breathe and close my eyes. I don’t know if he will fall asleep or stay asleep. I don’t know if I should stay all night or leave as soon as he’s sleeping. I have no idea how light or heavy he sleeps is. As I wondered all this my body relaxed and Bucky sighed.

“I don’t know why you are being so nice to me, but thank you.”

“You’re welcome Bucky.”

“You can leave anytime you want to.”

“I know, I just want to see what you look like when your hair grows out.”

He chuckled lightly. “I thought you said you liked it like this, that it feels good.”

“I do and it does. That doesn’t mean that I don’t wonder what it would look like when it grows longer. Is it curly or straight? How long until you shave it all off again, or would you go the other way and grow it super long?”

“Spend a lot of time wondering ‘bout me?”

“A little.”

“Good. Means I’m not alone.”

“You wonder about me?” My eyes fluttered open at this information and he nodded.

“Since we met. I thought I imagined you. They had to show me the video to prove to me you were real. Every second since I wonder how you managed to end up in my life and why you are so good to me.”

“Bucky,” I started to say, shifting my body weight to sit up and he tightened his grip on my arms.

“I don’t even need the answer. I’m just glad you’re real. As long as you stay with me I will be alright.”


End file.
